As we know that Voice it out is ability to speak of what you want calmly and elegantly without damaging everyone. Voice it out is not gossip, blame or judge. When you voice it out, first, you must acknowledge your feeling. Let it process in your body, and then you think about of, what your outcome? And then you speak of your mind with calmness and have a still state. So what happened then if we don’t voice it out or if we don’t speak what we really want to, is mean that you’re suppressing of your emotion. And then when you’re suppressing for a long time, one day it will explode. So when it explodes, you’ll become a different person, and everyone around you will surprise or, “What’s going on?”.
Voice it out in community
Voice-it-out through the nature of community to the community or represent community or represent organization, voicing out your belief to certain group, certain common, or a certain country.
When you voice it out to the community, do not Noise It Out. If you noise it out or anyone voice it out with hatred, promote hating, that is not voicing out at all. That is trying to get some fights so do not delivery with the hatred. Do not attacking any single thing. For example, if you have the belief in the political aspect, do not attacking anyone particularly or blame anything because that is not promoting, empowering anything that you want to do. So around that area, you should know that what is actually your message. Your message of voicing out should be Positive. If you promote democracy, you should talk about what’s good about democracy, why you want to promote, and who can be an example of that democracy. If you talk about LGBT, that could be– you shouldn’t come out and then hate the people that hate LGBT. You should come in and saying that attacking and blaming them for who they are is hurting you. This is going to be a different point of view because you involve so many people, so many energies. So many people have a different rage and different emotional. And do not mocking, mocking of the person that you try against with. Just promote the positive one. The mocking part is just make fun of it and it’s a childish and immature one.
A good voice it out in community is not talking about the gender or the age. The message must be a positive one with full of passion that you believe, inspiring, and have the purpose to including people more and more, and wholeness and unity. The calm and elegant with the delivering which is it’s certain, beautiful, and perfect with all of it. The message doesn’t need to be perfect, but the state to deliver the message need to be perfect because you will do as good as you can. And the tonality and the state that you deliver needs to be in the courage and confidence mode. And deliver it with the facts and cases. Like the fact that we will need to be to love each other. And it doesn’t matter that love doesn’t have gender, doesn’t have age. Love can be anything. And why we deny the love of LGBT, something like that. We didn’t attack anyone. Just promote the cause, inspire and not spin the violence in the organization of belief.
Voice it out when the receiver is not ready
Scenario: “I want my promotion and I believe I deserve a promotion already since last year. Why do I not having it. What do I need to do to have that promotion?”.
You need to form those things perfectly first before you’re able to voice it out. But when the receiver is not ready, the first thing that you need to be done is yourself to get the point across, to know that what you want and what’s stopping that to happen. But when you prepare yourself 100%. If you’re ready 70%, there is a 30% left in that pot that might not yet ready for you 100%. You might want to go to talk to the boss. And then you felt that he doesn’t want to pay you more. So he is avoiding you, running away from you and you couldn’t grab him yet. You are going to have to hold yourself very still because of it could be very frustration and think that “He’s not talking to me. I want to talk about this”. So you need to be even more professional and your best to speak your mind out. Otherwise, you will feel suffocated in your heart and you want to kill somebody if you don’t talk it out. Look for opportunity to talk to him and voice it out to her by setting that appointment, organizing it and keep changing the different strategy. And don’t take it so personally if he or she running away, because they might be busy for real or they might not be in the state of they’re able to.
You see, you prep yourself, but the guy or the girl or the woman or the man of group of people is not preparing as you, so you need to give them a time to let that information to sink in, and then come back. And then you control– you’re in control with that message by saying this is a new thing for you and I also want a result. So may I get back to you on what time and when that is going to be perfect for you to talk about this again. But you voice it out and not saying pinpoint with the timing, it might not be very good one.
Majority of the things, we cannot demand answer right away, but some of the cases it can be done. For example, in a relationship and then one of you just find out that the other one have an extra, more than plus one. That could be the time that for a while, you could ask that– or maybe sending the message that it’s done or what is it that you want? Who is that you want to be in your life? And that’s it. Or some woman might not saying that, “That’s it. Yeah, that’s it. Bye,” depend on what is the circumstance, how important of that person and how important of that person or that situation to you as the person who voice it out.
Voice it out in sensitive relationship
You could have a relationship with a friendship, mother, father, parenthood-ship, boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, colleagues, boss-ship, and things like that. The sensitive relationship is something that you just walk on the eggshell. I don’t know what to talk or what to act around these people. So that is a sensitive one. Believe it or not, I have a lot of clients that having that challenging, sensitive relationship with their parents to be able to ask them to do something or not to do something. That is a very, very difficult.
For example, let’s say that some culture and especially Asian culture, we have been taught to be obeyed with parents, with the sibling, with the family by general. So the rational point of view in that part is a maybe time is dropped down and it’s never been counting? as all we did into the conversation;
“I told you so. You have to do what I say.”
That’s pretty much the mentality around in parenting and family hood, which is not okay. And we afraid that if we say something, we disrespect him or her or our parents. But think about it. If you don’t speak it, you’re afraid to make them cry. You yourself suffer in this relationship and also you and them, the one that in the family cannot have a fully fruitful their relationship because you withhold something you’ll always feel something behind your back and you couldn’t feel whole about it.
We encourage you to facing it and to talking it. And if you unable to do it yourself, you just talk to someone that you trust, your friends, your mentor, your boss, and somebody that able to deal with this, or professional coach or contact anyone that work in this area by their reputation, by their testimonial. Do not just go for someone that never done along this way before because it’s very sensitive and is very fragile, especially this is this topic is around a loved one. Also with the husband and wife or boyfriend and girlfriend. Some people living together for long time, but they didn’t have the fruitful relationship. They just chat. They almost like a housemate rather than making a relationship. So you yourself need to think about that. But that is tap into the relationship part that may not be appropriate to talk in this one yet.
Voice it out and self-worth
It is going to affect that you unable to be a person to speak up in the society when you grow up. You unable to speak up in your workplace. You know you’re right, but you’re unable to speak it until it’s accumulating, this behavior, until one day, you don’t know what is right and what is wrong because that’s how I deal with a lot of people.
So that is affecting your self-worth. It will reflect every area of your life. If you suffer in the abusive relationship, any shape or form, and do not say it out loud, it could be a day, a month, a year, ten years, and then you losing that life force and that lifetime.
Why do I have to bend myself down or lower my standard?
Because in human, we count a year, we count the month, and we will lose that time to be our full self. But by owning it, that what we want, and communicate that what we want to the person that we need to be communicate and deal with it, it’s uplifting and it is allow us to grow to the next level. So that is how not voicing it out showing in the self-worth. By speaking it out, like Oprah. Oprah is on her story and sharing that story. So she become one of the wisdom lady and inspiring a lot of women that been challenging into the situation like her. But you own your story, you accept it and what you want. So understanding that she would be in the relationship with a very wonderful man, that have been with her for a very long time. And that is how every woman and every man should be– should get in the relationship supporting and kind and caring in the relationship. If you do not set your standard, if you do not communicate it to people, that is who you took– who are you to not having the right to have that kind of relationship or that thing that you need to have if you do not communicate it yourself?
You need to feel confident and courage. But even the courage of the first person, the first time and everything, you wise and your hand and your body still shake. But what is for? Is for your liberty, it’s for your freedom, it’s for your fully fruitful? of yourself. So that is worth it. Courage, between the courage and coward or fearful, many people that perform courage but they still fear inside. So many times that I go to the training, we knew that like 300, or 1,000 people, I was actually fearful at the beginning. But I do it anyway because of I feel that it will come. How do we know that what is courage if we do not let the momentum spin? Let the plate spin and see the momentum. And then just do that practice that and roleplayed that until you feel that you are able to articulate that would properly before you voice it out. Do the role play, consult the person that is having your back, your coach, your mentor, your best friend. You have to find that person. If you go to the wrong person that the person is full of judgmental and thinking that this is a bad idea, don’t go to that person. Talk to a couple of people that you feel good. Anyone that help you to stimulate yourself to be a better person.